Going How the Wind Blows

In my Creative Writing Class we were assigned to write a free verse poem.

Going How the Wind Blows

Traveling all around, never before have I braved this off beam side of passage
Accelerating obliviously, six and thirty above and beyond
Series of horizontal curves, uphill and back down, they came one after the other
Making additions to my anamnesis, intangible souvenirs
Adventure, stepping with comfort left behind, I face uncertainty
Not with me, Care is working diligently elsewhere, free from my mind
Integrating these thrills, making better the greatest present I've ever been given
And I'm winding down two roads at the very same time

The winds tangle up mane and mind
Rocking out to music that everyone knows or very soon does
At first so bothered but transforming to really know my own motto
Very uncertain of what the next four and twenty bring
Excitement builds for the slapdash scheme
Lets make a game of it, shouts of "yellow!"
Sunshine through the panes, such welcomed warmth

Then, in tutorial this week group members critiqued one another's free verse poems. Here is a critique from Patrick White (the most poetically educated of the group whereas I am the newb):

Form: Free Verse
Metre: N/A
Rhyme: N/A
Alliteration: “my mind” “welcomed warmth” “slapdash scheme” “mane and mind”
Asonance: “mind, time, behind” “motto, yellow” “uncertainty, free, obliviously”
Consonance: “beyond, mind, build, braved”
Theme: Driving, breaking law, adrenaline, carelessness, freedom.
Language: Excellent visualisation. Language invokes a stark image of freedom.
Improvements: Fewer “and, the, but etc”

Overall Patrick loved the poem! He said it dripped with freedom and adventure and all the things I wanted to convey through the words. He especially enjoyed the visuals I created through the words. He didn't, however, pick up on the TASMANIA TRAVELS part of the poem, hehe! But this was a good thing because I didn't want it to be noticed right away. If you aren't sure what I'm talking about, look at the first letter of each line. Clearly the poem is about my adventure in Tasmania over Easter Holiday. Such a great trip and so many wonderful memories!

-Amanda